Weltchys Notebook

Part Time Writer of Science Fiction and Fantasy. Hopefully a blog for Stories, both Long and Short

Black as Night

38 Comments

Below is my 100 word (ish) submission to the Friday Fictioneers. Photo prompt this week is courtesy of Erin Leary.

As always, comments are appreciated. I try to read everyone’s submission, but with submissions reaching triple digits each week, it’s sometimes difficult to get round to each one. Therefore, I tend to read those who I follow, or who like / comment my story. And finally, I also try for a random selection from the list.

The Friday Fictioneers are a friendly group of online writers from all over the globe who endeavour to create short but fantastical tales with which to enthral and inspire both reader and writer alike. The genres and styles of writing are varied, so there is something for everyone to be found within its midst.

PHOTO PROMPT Copyright - Erin Leary

PHOTO PROMPT Copyright – Erin Leary

Black as Night

“I’ve got a bad feeling tonight.”

Mark smiled uneasily. As always, his brother Harry was right on the money. An evil chill permeated the air, made worse by fog that reminded him of their mother’s pea soup. Still, it was too late to back out. Lord Hembridge wasn’t the forgiving sort and the fence needed mending.

“You hear something?”

Harry’s outburst set his pulse racing. Peering through the darkness, Mark hoped for nothing. The Moors could play tricks on the mind.

“What the…”

Heart in mouth, Mark watched as the fog parted, revealing the source of Harry’s terror. Black as night with eye’s like fire, Mark realised that death stalked on four legs, and they had been chosen that night.

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Author: Weltchysnotebook

Part Time writer of Science Fiction and Fantasy, both long and short!

38 thoughts on “Black as Night

  1. Great tense story, ‘death stalked on four legs’ – a very sinister line.

  2. Sinister indeed! I also loved the pea soup analogy!

    Greetings from Greece!
    Maria (MM Jaye)

  3. The nightmare begins. Good job!

  4. Sinister. Well done.

  5. Great piece of gothic horror. Some beast that.

  6. I loved your similes! Good atmosphere, chilling and portentous! Nice story.

  7. Great horror story! Brings to mind one of my favorite movies, An American Werewolf in London–it has horror, gore, sex, love, bad jokes and good (partial) nudity 🙂 The first character who is killed says “I have a bad feeling about this” when they get lost on the moors….

  8. Had to laugh at the phrase,”made worse by fog that reminded him of their mother’s pea soup.”Great tension and also loved the sentence,”Peering through the darkness, Mark hoped for nothing.”Chillingly scary ending,loved it 🙂

  9. Reminded me of “The Hound of the Baskervilles” and being a reader of English fiction, the pea soup comparison worked perfectly. You build up the tension well.

    janet

  10. love the tension and the eerie feel!

  11. Somehow I get the sense of a large hound somewhere.. I thought it was lord Baskerville 🙂

  12. This left me feeling the way one does here in the Pacific Northwest on a wet and foggy day in the forest. Dampish clothes, dripping hair and like just about anything could jump out of the mist.

    • Pacific Northwest seems to hold a lot in common with England. I think Glad the story left you in such a state. On the plus side, think about the warm bath at home which follows (hopefully)

  13. Pingback: Defenseless | V-Hypnagogic-Logic

  14. Great mystery with a bad ending for the two fence menders. Who is going to fix it? Well done – good story! Nan 😉

  15. Loved it! Made me smile.

  16. Very intense and scary. You just know that when the fog parted, it wasn’t going to be good thing. Well told. Lucy

  17. Dear Weltchy.

    The only thing missing is theremin music. Good build of tension. You’ve left something to the imagination there with “death stalks on four legs.” Well played.

    shalom,

    Rochelle

  18. Weltchy, If that Lord ever wants the fence mended he better find someone to get rid of the dog, or spirit, or whatever it is. That seems to be a suicide mission. Good writing with a touch of dark humor. 🙂 —Susan

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