It’s been a few weeks, so I thought it time to submit yet another 100 word (ish) submission to the Friday Fictioneers. Photo prompt this week is courtesy of Clair Fuller.
As always, comments are appreciated. I will try to read everyone’s submission, but with submissions reaching triple digits each week, it’s difficult to get round to everyone. Therefore, I try to read those who I follow, or who like / comment my story. I also hit a random selection from the list. You know know what gems you will find.
Finally, a short word on the weekly challenge. The Friday Fictioneers are a friendly group of online writers from all over the globe who endeavour to create short but fantastical tales with which to enthral and inspire both reader and writer alike. The genres and styles of writing are varied, so there’s something for everyone to be found within its midst.
Neil’s Yard
‘Five minutes boss, he’ll be singing like a canary.’
Tommy’s high pitched squeal, mixed with a soft Glaswegian accent, belied his brutish appearance. Knuckles swollen and calloused, Tommy raised his fists to continue. If nothing else, he was enthusiastic.
‘Easy lad. The guy’s trying to talk.’
The subject of Tommy’s wrath was tied to a chair, face bruised from my enforcer’s exertations. Part of me felt sympathy for the guy; he was new to the area and didn’t know the turf. The second-hand car market was a cut throat business and didn’t take kindly to competition. Sometimes, you just had to make a statement.
Waving Tommy back, I indicated for the guy to speak.
‘You win Neil’, he spat through broken teeth. ‘Have the damn furry dice.’
November 20, 2014 at 12:53 pm
Hah! The last line made me laugh out loud. Nice.
November 20, 2014 at 12:55 pm
Thanks. I really wanted to inject a bit of humour into this story. I feel that last line delivered it with a twist.
November 20, 2014 at 12:54 pm
Oh, the things people will fight over. Terrific ending! 🙂
November 20, 2014 at 6:02 pm
Thank you!
November 20, 2014 at 5:14 pm
Great closing line, Weltchy. I wonder if those were the pink dice. Those are my favorite. Now, if he’ll just give up that little bobble-head puppy dog on the dash we’ll both be happy.
November 20, 2014 at 6:01 pm
Thanks for stopping by and reading. Pink dice and nodding definately. Adds a bit of 80’s to mix.
November 20, 2014 at 8:39 pm
Great ending!
November 27, 2014 at 3:47 pm
Thank you for reading. For some reason, wordpress decided to put your comment into Spam, fixed that now.
November 20, 2014 at 10:33 pm
I loved the last line but liked the title even more, since Neal’s Yard in London sells fabulous cheese. 🙂
janet
November 21, 2014 at 6:06 am
🙂 thanks for stopping by. Didnt realise Neals Yard sold cheese. Ill have a look next time im in london
November 21, 2014 at 12:57 am
Very nice – the thuggery is well written, very real, and the humorous ending an unexpected twist.
I liked it 🙂
KT
November 21, 2014 at 5:59 am
Hi KT, thanks for reading. I always like to twist the end, it was an added benefit that i got a bit of humour in as well. Glad you enjoyed the story.
November 21, 2014 at 10:52 am
Dear Weltchy,
That’s a lot to go through for a pair of fuzzy dice. 😉 I, too, laughed out loud at the end. Clever.
shalom,
Rochelle
November 21, 2014 at 10:53 am
Fuzzy dice maketh the man. Glad to have brightened up your very early morning Rochelle. Thanks for stopping by!
November 21, 2014 at 10:53 am
Dear Weltchy,
I thought the guy was getting worked over for going 33% above the 100 word limit. He still might be coming for you so be careful.
Aloha,
Doug
November 21, 2014 at 10:58 am
I normally go a little over the word count, but obviously you noticed I pushed the boundary a bit more with this one. For the sake of the furry dice line, i decided to run the risk. Hopefully the extra few words did not hamper your experience!
November 21, 2014 at 5:18 pm
Nice twist, made me smile. 🙂
November 21, 2014 at 6:14 pm
Thanks for stopping by Sandra!
November 21, 2014 at 9:07 pm
Alea iacta est! .. no return.
November 22, 2014 at 9:20 pm
Thanks for stopping by Björn
November 23, 2014 at 9:34 pm
An ugly scene. Tommy obviouly loves his work, but I’m glad the victim gave in before it was too late for him. Good ending.
November 23, 2014 at 9:40 pm
Thanks margaret. Appreciate you taking the time to read!
November 24, 2014 at 2:31 am
Reading along, enjoying the story . . . last line? I said, “Oh, that’s funny!” right out loud.
November 24, 2014 at 8:58 am
I shared this story with my brother in law, Neil, who i used as inspiration. He reasurres me that this sort of occurance does not occur in real life. The wink at the end of his statement gave me cause for concetn however. Thanks for stopping by, glad i could brighten up your day with a bit of humour!
November 25, 2014 at 1:50 am
OMG…things that make you go…bada dump! lol
November 27, 2014 at 3:48 pm
Thanks for reading!!!
November 25, 2014 at 10:55 am
Weltchy, Brutal story with a funny ending twist. 😀 Looks like the next money the victim spends won’t be for furry dice but to get his teeth fixed. Well written. 🙂 — Susan
November 25, 2014 at 11:16 am
Thanks susan. Glad you enjoyed the story
November 26, 2014 at 3:33 am
Dear Weltchy, Perfect story – you nailed it for sure! Great! Nan 🙂
November 26, 2014 at 8:19 am
Hi Nan. Thanks for reading. Glad you enjoyed the story. Roll on this weeks challenge!